Find a Friend

First, I want to take a moment of silence for the closing of China Wine.  No one knows the real reason why it closed and if it ever will re-open but thank god we got one last run at it because who knows if we will ever get another classic China Wine experience.

Now to the important stuff.  The beginning of this story dates back to August.  In August we all moved into this hell hole of an apartment and within two days the landlord lost the master keys.  Speed up to this week.  The locks to the gates had been changed when the landlord lost the keys, but for some reason no one cared enough to change our front door locks.  Thanks for caring if we get robbed Fordham.  So this week, almost five months later, they decided it was unsafe for our locks not to of been changed.  We all went to go get our new keys as the lock had been changed on Wednesday.  Our keys worked fine until Friday when we got our deadbolt fixed.  Around noon we called to get the bolt fixed and until about nine at night our keys worked just fine.

We all went our separate ways for the night and expected our keys to work when we got home that night.  Chloe was the first one home and tried her keys.  The door wouldn't budge.  Helga made her way home minutes after and her keys wouldn't open the door either.  The security guard's keys couldn't unlock the door either so they decided to call Fordham security.  Security kept saying that they would come and help us but two hours past and there was no sign of security.  Chloe called Marta and I asking for our keys and still no ones keys would open the door.

By about midnight we were all sitting in the hallway waiting to gain entrance into our own apartment.  We called Fordham security one last time and they told us to "go find a friend and stay there because we can't open your door tonight".  You're kidding right?  Fordham security prevents us from having sleepovers when we want to, but when they want us to its all okay and acceptable.  Cool.  So now we are all stuck outside our apartment and have to find somewhere to stay.

We called one of our friends that lives off campus and they let as all shack up with them for the night.  Yeah, all seven housewives.  They did not know what they had just agreed to.  They all had to give us something to sleep in, somewhere to sleep, and half of us wanted something to eat.  This all felt like the most annoying and horrible thing at the time, but when we got to our friends' apartment it turned into the most fun night I have had all semester.  Having a "sleepover" with this many people is bound to be very entertaining and it was.  We all crawled into a small twin bed and talked nonsense for hours.  In the end, thanks Fordham security for being assholes and hanging us out to dry, I appreciate it.      

The Housewives try China Wine

This day started out like any other.  Each of us went our separate ways for classes only to meet up for lift and practice at four.  We all had the same excitement running through our veins, because tonight after practice, we were all venturing to China Wine.  Expecting this to also be our normal routine, our day was turned upside down by Ted, our lifting coach.  At first, it seemed like a blessing from God.  Ted wrote on the screen that there would be "no lift today!".  Ecstatic we all jumped around singing our China Wine song, becoming even more excited than before.  Second later, our lives went crashing down when Ted clicks to the next slide and we all dreadfully read "STADIUMS….. LOTS".  Typically, we would do about fifteen to twenty stadiums with Ted, but today….. today he expected us to do forty.  WHAT. FORTY.  You have got to be kidding Ted.  Our day wasn't ruined quite yet though.  We all lined up on the stadiums to begin and all we kept singing was "China Wine, China Wine, anything can happen on China Wine night".  Sounds stupid, I know, but it's what got us though these forty dreadful stadiums.  As we would get to the top you could hear someone mutter China Wine under their breath.  It was a long forty minutes, but that thought kept all us housewives going.  

After, not being able to walk anywhere because our legs were made of jelly, we somehow ended up on the soccer field, practice.  As if these three hours could not be horrible enough we had to do sprints at the end of practice.  All almost on our death beds, we got the strength to shower and get ready to go to our beloved restaurant China WIne.  Now for those of you who don't know, China Wine is a Chinese restaurant that serves the whole table unlimited amounts of wine.  Sounds like the time of your life right?  And oh yeah, the foods not bad itself either.  The whole meal ends up being about ten dollars or less per person so this is obviously our favorite place to go to dinner. 

Jada's sprained ankle.

Now in our song we state, "anything can happen on China Wine night" and this is the most true statement ever.  The ride to this restaurant is always horrible, and Chloe gets hangry (hungry and angry) and no one wants to get in the way of that.  Its long, slow, and we have to take the crowded subway down there.  But the ride home is by far the best part of the night.  The last time we all went to China Wine we ate dinner, blah blah blah, but then the night started going when we left the restaurant.  First, we walked one block to Urban Outfitters, and let me tell you my mom was not happy with my big spending that night and Jada may of may not of accidentally taken a pair of sunglasses with her on her way out.  Sounds sketchy I know, but she really didn't mean to do it.  She was trying them on, forgot they were on her face, and walked right out.  Somehow, none of us had even realized it either until we were on the subway on the way home.  At that point, what are you going to do but keep them.  As we were transferring from the 4 to the D train at Yankee Stadium we went for a real ride.  There is a huge escalator at this station and you put seven girls too drunk off wine on it, you wait and see what happens.  Somehow one of us in the back tripped and fell and took everyone on the escalator with her.  Thats right, we took out an entire escalator in one fall and we all tumbled down the moving stairway.  Any normal person would probably be writhing in pain from what just happened, but not us.  We already couldn't feel our lower body because of the amount of fitness we did earlier that day, and well you know what took care of the upper body.  We all just laughed this whole event off and acted like it was a completely normal thing to of happened.  Most likely didn't say sorry to the people we just bulldozed and went on our merry way to catch the subway.

In the morning, half of us could not even remember that this had even happened, until we looked at our battle wounds.  Kylie had a fat lip, Jada had a (minor) sprained ankle, and I had a huge scratch across my whole back.  China Wine is a very serious night that you have to both mentally prepare for before and after.  Either way no dinner can ever compare to what this one promises.  We obviously cannot go there often because of the aftermath, but when we do, its promised to be an unforgettable (or forgettable) night.  

xoxo J

Welcome to Campbell 308

Now that we’ve all met, read about, and virtually fallen in love with the housewives of Terranova through Ally’s blog, let’s step back onto campus and meet the lovely ladies of Campbell….
Let’s start at the far corner of the five-bedroom apartment with the biggest room in the place – here we have Kathryn, the girl who’s swamped with classes, practices, and her significant other. We don’t see her very often but when we do, Kathryn can usually be found curled up on the couch enjoying a rerun of Duck Dynasty and offering to comfort and cuddle with anyone and everyone. Next room down is Mikayla, the total neat freak who will kill you if you walk into her room with shoes on – yes she installed a rug and yes she will hit you if you get the sole of your shoe anywhere near it. Mikayla is also always making sure the place stays clean and usually frowns upon the empty cereal boxes left on the kitchen table. The third room in the apartment is the ultra quiet, totally in love, nicest girl in the world Taylor. We don’t always know when she’s even in the apartment – the girl is that quiet! Taylor and her boyfriend have been in her room for close to four hours without the rest of us even having a clue! How they pull this off we aren’t sure but hey more power to them. The fourth room in the apartment is home to Mandie – the stereotypical messy, somewhat smelly, disorganized roommate. Mandie’s room truly looks as if a bomb went off in it and could possibly require an exterminator by the end of the semester let alone the entire year. Mandie can usually be found on Pinterest browsing ideas for Christmas gifts and fitness motivation posts. Then you come to my room – the beautiful, neat, put together palace that it is... kidding, completely kidding. It’s a mess of practice clothes, a way too bright tapestry, and lots of leftover glitter from Halloween. I guess you could say I’m the roommate who constantly blares music and can be found napping whenever we have a spare hour from practice or classes.
So when you take the five of us who are nothing alike and throw us into an apartment consisting of one single hallway with two bathrooms on the ends and a kitchen slash living area in the middle, there are sure to be plenty of absurd stories coming on a nightly basis. Here’s one of the quality events that has occurred in Campbell 308 this semester…
It was a quiet, peaceful Monday morning around 10 am. We have Monday’s off from practice so naturally it means naptime for me. I had just gotten back into bed after my dreaded 830 class, when out of nowhere there was a screech from the kitchen. Confused as ever, I got out of bed and stuck my head out of the door to see Kathryn freaking out, squealing by the microwave, and yelling that the place was on fire. Hearing fire, I ran over only to find that the microwave wasn’t on fire – but it was spitting out sparks at a pretty rapid pace. One would think that Kathryn’s first move would have been to turn the microwave off when she saw the sparks right? Yeah no she let it keep going and create more sparks. Thinking with my brain (for like, the first time ever) I turned off the microwave and just like magic the sparks stopped. Kathryn quickly grabbed the plate with her breakfast sausage out of the microwave only to realize that the plate was burning hot and the links were legitimately smoking… Needless to say, the sausage was thrown out and maintenance was called to fix our sparking microwave.
So there you have it everyone, just a quick look into the zoo like apartment that is Campbell 308.
xoxo Rachel

The Housewives Take Halloween (TBT)

Halloween was a big weekend for the housewives this year.  First, the scavenger hunt, then the weekend brought even more exciting events.  We all got out creative juices flowing and came up with some pretty eccentric costumes.  Chloe and Ashley dressed as blow up ostriches, yes an ostrich, Kylie was a ghetto pug, Marta was a painter, Helga was a firefighter, and completely out of character was Jada as a fairy princess.  Lastly, I dressed in Spanish apparel.  I have an authentic (straight from Mexico) poncho, and Helga's mom had sent the apartment a box of huge mustaches for no reason.  For some reason, I also own a sombrero.  And for the finishing touches, I had my bottle of tequila (my favorite) and a burrito, because anyone who knows anything about me is that I can live off of burritos.  Having to purchase nothing, I decided to throw all of this together to make the perfect costume.  This night we had over all of our friends, and everyone there was loving our costumes.  Together we looked like a mess, but individually, we all rocked it.  It wasn't until someone showed up who was not too into my costume as I was.  She was a friend of a friend of ours and none of us knew who she was.  This girl took my outfit as me trying to be offensive, but I can guarantee to everyone that was the last thing I would ever do.  At heart, I was meant to live in a Spanish- ethnicity location because I love everything about it; most importantly, the food.  Now, this girl took everything the wrong way and expected her friend to say something to me about my outfit and make me change.  Our friend wanted nothing to do with it because she knew that I was harmless.  Getting so fed up with me and her friend, the girl that we didn't even know disappeared from our apartment.  So naturally, no one even noticed.  She started running around the Bronx and wouldn't answer her phone calls from anyone.  Frantically searching for her no one knew exactly what to do, because no one could get ahold of her.  It wasn't until six am, that we got a phone call from the Harlem Police Department, that we figured out what happened to this girl.  Apparently she had gotten so emotional and so worked up that she went back to her house in Harlem.  And on her way, she had gotten stopped by to police.  At six in the morning we had to go help this girl that we had never met in our lives before... all the way in Harlem.  I'm sure you can all figure out the rest of our morning, it was horrendous.  If you ever asked me if I thought something like this would ever happen on our Halloween, I would have laughed in your face.  To say the least, it was a very eventful Halloween and coming from us, I'm not surprised that it was.

PS. Emanuel met a new secret girl last weekend and has been bringing her around Ashley.  Ashley's claws are about to come out and we're all just waiting for the big day.  Better watch out, bitch.

xoxo J

HACKED!

Being another member of the apartment, I feel like it is appropriate to give my input on some of the many activities that go on in Terranova. For starters, my name is Chloe, and I love living in an apartment with seven different housewives. Everyone is entertaining and unique in her own way. There is never any down time because everyone is always entertaining. One of my favorite stories to tell is about the time we went to the library (yeah that’s right, I said the LIBRARY).

It was a Thursday night and most of us had a lot of work to do because it was midterms week.  Considering we get nothing accomplished in our apartment, we decided to all take a trip to the library. You would think with all of our brains put together that we would realize that the apartment isn’t our distraction and that we are each others distractions. However, we didn’t think much of it when we decided to go to the library. After everyone finally got their stuff together, we settled down in a study room. We got a huge conference room so that we can all fit our stuff at one table. It took us about thirty minutes to stop talking about everything and finally take our books out. It was at this moment when the night took a turn. Helga went looking through her backpack for her advertising textbook when she realized she took the wrong backpack. What was inside her backpack instead…..a half-filled handle of dragon-berry Baccardi. 

Most of you are probably wondering why there is a handle in Helga’s bag, but this is actually quite normal for her. She is the designated roommate to carry the bottle into and out of the apartment on nights out. Normally, we have games on Friday, so going out on a Thursday is never an option. However, the looks of that rum bottle in Helga’s bag was very tempting. Of course it was Juliana who came up with the brilliant idea to drink some of this Baccardi in the library, while we were studying. We went to the vending machines, got a variety of sodas, and poured some of the rum into the sodas. 

Books, Bacardi, and the Library

We started off just casually sipping on our mixed drinks in the conference room, all staring at our textbooks. We needed to get work done, we couldn’t get distracted anymore. If I remember correctly, Jada had a midterm the next day! But our “studying” didn’t last long. Honestly, I don’t know how we didn’t get kicked out of the library, we were so loud! We started playing music on our laptops and dancing in the conference room. A few of us may or may not have danced on top of the conference room table. To this day I don’t know how no one next to our room complained. After spending about two hours just hanging out in the library, we decided to move on with the night and go to our friends' apartment right next to the library. 

Our friends had practice the next morning, so they were just hanging out in their apartment playing video games. We all come barging into their apartment and ask them to come hangout at our apartment. They didn’t budge because they knew they had 8 am practice. None of us had the desire to actually go out because we were all in sweats and no one wanted to get ready. So, we decided to make ourselves at home at stay at their apartment. This is when we decided to take over the boys’s video games and play Mario Kart. We all took tuns and played for like 2 hours until we all got too tired. Finally, we made our way back to Terranova and fell asleep. Practice the next afternoon was definitely not fun and we were all struggling. However, even though we didn’t accomplish much that night, it ended up being super fun. Who knew someone could enjoy the library so much!

xoxo Chloe

1000 Make a Fordham Security Alert

Get plastic wrapped to a
tree with a random person. (3)

Every year my friends and I have a traditional Halloween scavenger hunt.  They are like your classic fifth grade sleepover scavenger hunt, going door to door asking for certain trinkets, except this one is kind of "R" rated, and isn't anything like that.  Together, we all make a list of the tasks  we want to complete, giving each action a 1,3, or 5 point ranking.  The more difficult, or less likely someone is to do it, the more points they are, obviously. We also decide on a time limit (three hours) and a meeting spot at the end.  Every minute a team is late, is a deduction of that many points.  The most important rule of this scavenger hunt, is everything MUST be documented on video.  If there is no proof, it didn't happen.  This is a great team/ housewife bonding activity because we have to work together as a team for one, and some people have to step up and take one for the team.  This is the list and ranking system that we used for this years scavenger hunt.

1 Ride the ram
1 Stadium drinking
3 Have someone kiss a random person's butt
5 Eat someones food off their plate at a restaurant (stranger)
1 Pretend to be gas attendants
3 Pyramid with Bronx locals
3 Handcuffed to a police man

Dump a cup of orange soda on someones head.  (5)

1 Ask a Bronx local to marry you
3 Go on a delivery run with Sam for University
1 Indian run through the Bronx
3 Follow the leader with 5 locals
5 Naked stadium
1 Get someone to buy you a shot at Howl
1 Get someone to buy you a shot at Mugz's
3 Get someone to buy you a shot at Tinkers
5 Undie-run around Eddies
5 Fountain swim
1 Scare a NARP
3 Body shot off a ginger
3 3v3 (3 locals included) pickup game in the cage

Pose in the tri-bar intersection wearing
a speedo. (5)

3 Share a smooch on the steps of Keating with a random
1 Cinnamon challenge
1 Saltine challenge
3 Moon a random person
3 Hump a stranger
5 Smear an ice cream cone on your face
5 Dump a cup of orange soda on someone's head
5 Whipped cream bikini
5 Convince a random to strip a take a picture of them
1 Wear a security guard's hat
3 Steal someone's Halloween candy
5 Pose in the intersection of tri-bar wearing a speedo
3 Get your hair corn rowed
3 Dye your hair
3 Order food though the drive though without a car
5 Lick chocolate syrup off a random person's neck
5 Work behind the counter of 7/11 or Dunkin/Beer City
3 Get plastic wrapped to a tree with a random person
5 Drink someone's spit
5 Convince a random to switch clothes with you
5 Have a rubik's cube party
1000 Make a Fordham security alert

Share a smooch  on the steps of Keating with a rando. (3)

Hump a stranger. (3)

Now, obviously we did not have enough time to finish everything on the list, but you would be surprised with how many we did accomplish. You would also be surprised in some of the ones each of us did.  For example, Marta, the shyest, quietest housewife of us all, participated in the undie-run across Eddies.  When we were deciding who would do this task, Marta started to strip and run before anyone could say otherwise.  In the end, we never really know who wins and who loses (we won), because we have too much fun just completing the list and watching the videos after.  If anyone is ever looking to do a great scavenger hunt, this is the one you have to do.  Wreak havoc around campus, not caring who sees you, or who stops you, just be careful and no, we have never made it onto a security alert.
xoxo J

PS. Has Sam moved on from Ashley? Find out next week.

Episode of the Missing Shirt

RIP Jada's favorite shirt. You will be missed.

Now, no one knows exactly how this story ends, but maybe you can help us figure it out.  About a month ago Jada, Chloe, and I were all hanging out in the living room.  We all had had a few glasses of wine and Jada was having one of her classic hot flashes (which she claims to of gotten since she was in second grade, please).  During this time, she got hot enough that she found it necessary to take her shirt off to cool down.  Chloe, being annoying, decided to take Jada's shirt and hide it under her shirt.  Getting distracted, it didn't seem to bother Jada that she didn't have a shirt on.  Chloe, still with Jada's shirt under hers, went to the bathroom and this is where the whole story gets messy.  Chloe didn't bother turning around when she flushed the toilet and then realized what had been under her shirt.  The toilet had already flushed by the time she knew what to do.  Bolting out of the bathroom, Chloe asked me if I had taken the shirt from her.  Confused, I said no and we started to frantically search around the 10 foot apartment.  Moving the two things in the living room, the couch and the tv, the shirt seemed to of disappeared into thin air.  It wasn't on Jada's back, or anywhere in the room.  We have no idea what could of possibly happened to this shirt, because we all know deep down that it is impossible for a shirt to be flushed down the toilet (even though this toilet has an industrial flush).  However, to us, this seemed like the only logical option.  I assumed the shirt would turn up when I moved out, but it still didn't.  To this day we have no idea what happened to Jada's shirt and we never will.  Let me know what you all think happened to her shirt, because we just can't figure it out.

xoxo J

The Greatest People You Will Ever Meet

I guess everyone will not agree with me, but my housewives are without a doubt better than anyone else's friends.  No matter what I will always think that they are the coolest people I have ever met.  Need a good laugh, go to Helga.  Want a hug that will make every problem you have go away, go to Jada.  Want someone to talk shit about everyone and everything, go to Ashley.  Even better she will always agree with you, even when everyone knows you're wrong.  If you need to slip into a food coma, call Marta.  Her Italian side will shine.  Want to be a real diva, go get your hair blown out with Kylie.  And lastly, need someone to jump on top of you and play with you like you're a jungle-gym, Chloe will be there in a heartbeat.  My housewives have seen each and everyone of us at our best, and most importantly at our worst.  Nothing and no one compare to my housewives and here are a few reasons to make you believe me.   
1. We can turn a simple game of Mario Kart into a drunken competition with brackets and everything.
2. We have a scooter gang- we ride around campus torturing the freshman and spitting on boys.  Okay, just kidding about the last part, but we actually have a scooter gang.
3. We have a group chat that ranges from embarrassing selfies of ourselves, to screenshots of stupid things people post on Facebook.

4. We play follow the leader on our walks from the apartment to practice and get locals to join in.
5. We leave secret messages for each other around campus.
6. We give each other calf massages no matter our location.
7. We put each other through hell and back but we are the real housewives of Bronx, and no one can compete with this statement.

No matter what these girls will always be the greatest people anyone will ever meet and I wouldn't change anything about any of them.
xoxo J

The Housewives Mansion

20 Things I Hate about this Apartment:
1. The oven only works when it feels like it.
2. The dead bolt for the front door doesn't lock.  Hello robbers and murderers.
3. The shower floods the entire bathroom.  (and no one cares enough to clean it up)
4. I have to abide by Fordham housing rules even though I am twenty-one.
5. My friends cannot come and go as they please.  I have to sign each one in individually, (up to three guests each) and I get fined if someone doesn't sign themselves out of my apartment.
6. I still have a twin bed because the rooms are so small a full wouldn't even fit if I wanted it to.
7. Only half the burners on the stove work.
8. The door to my room locks itself from the outside so I cannot close it.  As if I didn't get any privacy as it is, this just seals the deal of zero privacy.
9. The doors creak so loud they wake the entire apartment up in the mornings.
10. Not only do the doors creak, but its like playing land-mines walking down the hallway.
11. There are two bathrooms for seven housewives.  We're the biggest divas of them all, so you can figure out how this works out.
12. There is not air conditioning.  Sweat, sweat, sweat, am I right?
13. You can hear the locals playing Mexican dance music until 5 am.  Why even stop then?
14. We watched a local kill a rat with his cane from our window.
15. Gunshots.  All the time.  Gunshots.
16. We had a few mice to be parents to for a week.
17. Seven girls, one refrigerator. Need I say more?
18. You can hear your neighbors conversations as if you were sitting right next to them, not on the opposite side of a wall.
19. I live in a 8X8 room, with another person...
20. Its old.  Very, very old.

Sweet, simple, and to the point.  Now it may seem like I dislike everything about this apartment, and thats probably true.  But I hate everything.  And everyone.  However, next weeks will be a little more heartwarming and explain why I absolutely LOVE this apartment, and the people in it.
xoxo J

Is Two Really Better than One?

Living with seven housewives means that there is no personal space or privacy no matter how hard you try.  Even going to the bathroom, where you think, hey, maybe I'll finally have some alone time gets ruined when someone barges in.  Besides no privacy, this also means that some people still have to share a room.  Now I am the biggest advocate of personal space and being alone when needed and somehow I got landed with the double room.  Did I say double, I really meant triple, with Kylie's boyfriend basically lives with us as well. Having an immediate roommate has some serious perks, and some serious downfalls.  Most of these things can be interpreted differently from person to person, so I will refrain from saying which I am for and which I am against.
1. You always no matter what, have someone to talk to.
2. You come home to surprises like your laundry being done, or chocolate on your desk.
3. You come home to surprises like your roommate's boyfriend.
4. You have to share a room.
5. Try to escape seven other roommates in your own room, jokes.
6. Your roommates boyfriend snores.
7. You have to now share a room with not only your roommate, but her boyfriend too.
8. You have double the amount clothes.
9. Can't sleep? Wanna talk? Watch a movie? Depends who you want to do all these things with.  Your roommate, or someone else...
10. You like to sleep in late, but your roommate is an early riser.
11. Your roommate has no idea how to be quiet and you had no idea putting in contacts could be so loud.
12. Your roommate smells.  Bad or good. You decide where I'm going with this one.
13. They flood the bathroom, then refuse to clean it up themselves.
14. They always let you borrow whatever you want, even if you ask or not.
15. Your roommate has an obsession with cats just as much as you do, so your room is covered in cat posters.
16. Your roommate has huge feet, like you, so now you finally have people to share your clown shoes with.
17. You live in such close quarters you are basically touching at all times.
18. Sometimes they are slobs and other times they are neat as can be.
19. You are never alone.
20. You make a new best friend, because its impossible to live with just anyone.

xoxo J

P.S.
Date 4:
Ashley invited Emanuel over after his football game to "celebrate".  They immediately ran into Ashley's room and that was the last we saw of them all night.  We're one step closer to a real relationship people!

Secrets Secrets are no Fun, Unless They're Shared With Everyone

The housewives have recently been investigating a blooming love story of another fellow housewife, Ashley.  Ashley will deny until she dies about her secret love affair with Emanuel, but we will always know what's real.  Emanuel is your classic jock.  He lives for the sport he plays and is incredibly good at it.

Date 1:
Emanuel comes to hangout with Ashley, innocent, right?  Maybe.  Everyone had gone to bed and he was still there but no one could care less.  It wasn't until the next morning that things got interesting.  Chloe and Marta got up early to go to breakfast and Ashley normally joins them.  Going to see if she was awake they discovered that the door was locked, and our toilet seat was up.... Joking around on the way to breakfast Marta and Chloe said what if Emanuel slept over and thats why the door was locked.  Confronting her later we all asked as a joke if Emanuel had really spent the night.  Ashely responds with "Yeah, so?"  WHAT.  Wait.  What.  So you are trying to tell all of us that Emanuel spent the night in your twin bed, when he lives in the same apartment complex?  That makes no sense Ashley, we're on to you.

Date 2:
Emanuel comes over to watch The Challenge, a tv show that we all watch as an apartment.  After it was over, we all went to our respective rooms to go to sleep, except, for well, Ashley.  Before Helga goes to sleep, she dims the lights  in the living room, in order to set the mood for the two lovebirds.  Hours later, I walk out to go get a glass of water, and guess who is still on my couch?  That's right, Emanuel.  Only now there was a candle lit on the end table, the lights and tv completely off, and they were cuddling under a blanket on the couch, giggling like schoolgirls.  Sketch.

Date 3:
We all go out as a team to celebrate a teammates twenty-first birthday.  Skip forward to the interesting part.  So our plans did not go as we hoped they would and we ended up back in our apartment before midnight.  Chloe, Helga, and I were planning to confront Ashley about Emanuel.  When we finally got her alone, and were ready to attack, there was a knock at the door.  Assuming it was Marta or Jada being lazy you can imagine our surprise when we saw Emanuel standing there instead.  Three jaw drops.  Not just one, three!  Not knowing what else to do, we all run into Helga's room to devise a plan.  By two a.m. we finally leave and there is no one to be found in the living room.... interesting.  We press our ears up to Ashely's door and hear not one, but two voices.  At least at this point we knew they weren't playing tonsil tennis in there.  And once again we all wake up to find that Emanuel had spent the night and snuck out at eight so he couldn't be seen.

Now we are not the only ones who think there is a love affair going on.  Emanuel's roommate asked us if we knew of anything going on because he sees the same sketchy things happening.  Both Emanuel and Ashley claim they are "just friends" but are you really?  We don't think so....

Now let me get your opinion.




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Don't worry I will let you all know when they become Facebook official.
xoxo Julez

Keep Your Friends Close, but Your Enemies Closer

One thing that we housewives are all good at is keeping everyone on the edge of our seats waiting for shit to hit the fan next.  Since freshman year we have all participated in a weekly event called prank wars.  Basically you are free to do whatever you want to the opposing room and roommates.  Freshman and sophomore year had two distinct teams, because we lived in groups of two and three.  Now, it is every man for themselves so keep your friends close but your enemies closer.

At first it started out as harmless fun.  Jada and I were the first to hit Ashley and Helga's room freshman, year which now I feel was a huge regret for starting this game.  All we did was TP their whole room and throw in a few water balloons. They quickly retaliated by taking our towels when we were showering, leaving us to fend for ourselves on how to get back to our rooms.  There was no getting out of this, so we took down the shower curtains and quickly ran from the community bathroom down the hall back into our rooms. Still keeping it friendly, Jada and I did a classic move by covering the entire floor with little solo cups of water.  

This is where it got serious.  It was no longer a game, it was now war.  We made two rules, 1. you have one week to get someone back, and if you don't you can then prank them again and 2. don't be distractive.  

Marta pulled the first one of the junior year season and hid multiple alarm clocks in Jada's room.  Now something that you need to know about Jada is she loves her bed.  She only leaves it to get her cheez-its, then it's right back to her cave.  The alarms were set for every hour, and at first, it didn't bother Jada.  She put on her beats and avoided getting out of bed to fix the problem.  But as soon as she wanted to take a nap, (and that was now impossible) she decided to do something about it.  Marta was smarter than Jada and she could not find all the alarms that she had hidden.  It drove Jada so insane that she got up and slept on the couch that night.  Marta 1 Jada 0.  

The next prank has to be my all time favorite.  Ashley, being the crazy girl that she is, took these pranks to a whole new level.  She caught a bird… a bird, and trapped it under a laundry basket on my desk.  Not knowing why that was on my desk I lifted it and out flew the bird.  You have got to be kidding me. Panicking, I swung open my door and he flew into the bathroom.  It stuck around for about a half hour until I successfully guided it out of the apartment.  Touche.  Ashley 500 Julez -50.

Jada became the most popular girl on campus during this prank.  I still have no idea how we convinced her that this was a good idea, but I am so happy that we did.  Jada allowed us to duct tape her to a pole outside the cafeteria.  We did it on a senior night when we knew that there would be a lot of people passing by.  Hundreds of drunk seniors passed her and thought that she was stranded up on the pole
and needed help down.  We successfully had her stuck there for a half hour before someone came and yelled at us.  Jada 10, but also -20 for allowing this.

Our prank wars are something that I for some reason look forward to every week.  Even though sometimes at the time they seem like the worst jokes ever, they always make for a good story in the end.  Knowing that these will continue I will keep you all updated on the good ones.

xoxo J

The Housewives Get Their First Pet

Living with girls you would assume that the apartment would be spotless, because we're girls and all we do is cook and clean, right?  Wrong.  So wrong.  Our apartment is disgusting. It smells like our soccer cleats and people rarely clean up after themselves.  Kylie finds it necessary to see if she can successfully throw Skittles under a door, and Jada thinks it's socially acceptable to take her contacts out and throw them across the room.  Crumbs pile up from the loads of carbs we eat in order to maintain our energy and don't even get me started on the sink.  Living in an apartment this dirty comes with major consequences and we faced this head on, on the third day of living in our new place.

At three in the morning Chloe got up to do god knows what, probably polish her crown, when she met our eighth housewife.  Our new little friend scurried across her feet and darted into her room and under her bed.  Chloe has a seriously problem where she doesn't know how to whisper, so you could imagine how loud her scream was when she saw her new friend. Waking up in a panic that something was seriously wrong, we all gathered in the living room to see what the problem was.  Chloe had seen our new pet, Bebe La Rue.... a mouse.

Bebe La Rue was too afraid to show her face for the first few days, so naturally we all thought princess Chloe was making it up, and it was just something she had dreamt.  Then finally a week later, Bebe La Rue had babies, yes, babies, who were not as shy as their mother.  As if we didn't have enough people occupying this house, we now have five little mouse babies running around, bringing Terranova to a grand total of thirteen housewives.  Please, just get me the hell out of this place.

The next morning we all looked up the facts about mice on the internet and this is as dangerous as a hypochondriac going on WebMD.  We learned that mice can jump 9 inches, which we took as they would crawl into our beds at night and snuggle up next to us.  We even took it as far as getting dressed on chairs, just in case one of our pets wanted to hangout.  A little dramatic I know, but after all we are all diva housewives.

As soon as one got caught, they all seemed to get trapped, in one place.  Under Chloe's bed.  Chloe and Jada had become immune to the dead mouse smell taking over their room that when we all told them their room smelled they took it personally.  Bebe La Rue and her children laid in peace under Chloe's bed for three more days until they finally swallowed their pride and admitted that their room wreaked.  And to Chloe's pleasant surprise, she found her three a.m. friend that everyone doubted existed.  

I know what you were thinking at the beginning of this post, a pet, sounds kinda cool.  No.  Our pet was something that you never want to happen to your apartment or house.  One mouse is bad enough, but we had six.  Maybe we should take our roles as housewives more seriously and stick to the cooking and cleaning.
xoxo J

Meeting the Housewives

Living with seven of your best friends seems like a great idea, right? Well, sometimes, like now instead of just one closet, you have seven, or the fact that you will always have someone to do activities with.  But wait, do these all seem like the greatest things ever, all of the time?  What if someone steals your favorite shirt without telling you and then stains it, or when you just need you're own space, someone is always there to remind you that you don't have it.  Living with seven other girls can be the best yet worst times of your life.  Let's hope more good than bad, and with my group of housewives it's been amazing thus far.

Now let me introduce you to my seven housewives.  First there is Helga a classic Californian who has it all.  Then there's Chloe, the Long Island Princess, need I say more?  Marta is your famous mother figure who makes sure you go to sleep with an extra ten pounds from the authentic dinner she cooked.  Then there's the Jersey bitch, I mean girl, did I say bitch, Ashley, who is never shy to tell you what's on her mind.  Want to be smothered with love no matter how hard you try to fight it, meet Jada, our puppy dog of a roommate.  The most recent housewife is Kylie. Then there's me, Juliana, and I plan to tell you all the dirty little secrets this apartment holds dear to their hearts.  See you next week,

xoxo J