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| RIP Jada's favorite shirt. You will be missed. |
xoxo J
Friday, October 25, 2013
Episode of the Missing Shirt
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
The Greatest People You Will Ever Meet
I guess everyone will not agree with me, but my housewives are without a doubt better than anyone else's friends. No matter what I will always think that they are the coolest people I have ever met. Need a good laugh, go to Helga. Want a hug that will make every problem you have go away, go to Jada. Want someone to talk shit about everyone and everything, go to Ashley. Even better she will always agree with you, even when everyone knows you're wrong. If you need to slip into a food coma, call Marta. Her Italian side will shine. Want to be a real diva, go get your hair blown out with Kylie. And lastly, need someone to jump on top of you and play with you like you're a jungle-gym, Chloe will be there in a heartbeat. My housewives have seen each and everyone of us at our best, and most importantly at our worst. Nothing and no one compare to my housewives and here are a few reasons to make you believe me. 1. We can turn a simple game of Mario Kart into a drunken competition with brackets and everything.
2. We have a scooter gang- we ride around campus torturing the freshman and spitting on boys. Okay, just kidding about the last part, but we actually have a scooter gang.
3. We have a group chat that ranges from embarrassing selfies of ourselves, to screenshots of stupid things people post on Facebook.
4. We play follow the leader on our walks from the apartment to practice and get locals to join in.5. We leave secret messages for each other around campus.
6. We give each other calf massages no matter our location.
7. We put each other through hell and back but we are the real housewives of Bronx, and no one can compete with this statement.
No matter what these girls will always be the greatest people anyone will ever meet and I wouldn't change anything about any of them.
xoxo J
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
The Housewives Mansion
20 Things I Hate about this Apartment:
1. The oven only works when it feels like it.
2. The dead bolt for the front door doesn't lock. Hello robbers and murderers.
3. The shower floods the entire bathroom. (and no one cares enough to clean it up)
4. I have to abide by Fordham housing rules even though I am twenty-one.
5. My friends cannot come and go as they please. I have to sign each one in individually, (up to three guests each) and I get fined if someone doesn't sign themselves out of my apartment.
6. I still have a twin bed because the rooms are so small a full wouldn't even fit if I wanted it to.
7. Only half the burners on the stove work.
8. The door to my room locks itself from the outside so I cannot close it. As if I didn't get any privacy as it is, this just seals the deal of zero privacy.
9. The doors creak so loud they wake the entire apartment up in the mornings.
10. Not only do the doors creak, but its like playing land-mines walking down the hallway.
11. There are two bathrooms for seven housewives. We're the biggest divas of them all, so you can figure out how this works out.
12. There is not air conditioning. Sweat, sweat, sweat, am I right?
13. You can hear the locals playing Mexican dance music until 5 am. Why even stop then?
14. We watched a local kill a rat with his cane from our window.
15. Gunshots. All the time. Gunshots.
16. We had a few mice to be parents to for a week.
17. Seven girls, one refrigerator. Need I say more?
18. You can hear your neighbors conversations as if you were sitting right next to them, not on the opposite side of a wall.
19. I live in a 8X8 room, with another person...
20. Its old. Very, very old.
Sweet, simple, and to the point. Now it may seem like I dislike everything about this apartment, and thats probably true. But I hate everything. And everyone. However, next weeks will be a little more heartwarming and explain why I absolutely LOVE this apartment, and the people in it.
xoxo J
1. The oven only works when it feels like it.
2. The dead bolt for the front door doesn't lock. Hello robbers and murderers.
3. The shower floods the entire bathroom. (and no one cares enough to clean it up)
4. I have to abide by Fordham housing rules even though I am twenty-one.
5. My friends cannot come and go as they please. I have to sign each one in individually, (up to three guests each) and I get fined if someone doesn't sign themselves out of my apartment.
6. I still have a twin bed because the rooms are so small a full wouldn't even fit if I wanted it to.
7. Only half the burners on the stove work.
8. The door to my room locks itself from the outside so I cannot close it. As if I didn't get any privacy as it is, this just seals the deal of zero privacy.
9. The doors creak so loud they wake the entire apartment up in the mornings.
10. Not only do the doors creak, but its like playing land-mines walking down the hallway.
11. There are two bathrooms for seven housewives. We're the biggest divas of them all, so you can figure out how this works out.
12. There is not air conditioning. Sweat, sweat, sweat, am I right?
13. You can hear the locals playing Mexican dance music until 5 am. Why even stop then?
14. We watched a local kill a rat with his cane from our window.
15. Gunshots. All the time. Gunshots.
16. We had a few mice to be parents to for a week.
17. Seven girls, one refrigerator. Need I say more?
18. You can hear your neighbors conversations as if you were sitting right next to them, not on the opposite side of a wall.
19. I live in a 8X8 room, with another person...
20. Its old. Very, very old.
Sweet, simple, and to the point. Now it may seem like I dislike everything about this apartment, and thats probably true. But I hate everything. And everyone. However, next weeks will be a little more heartwarming and explain why I absolutely LOVE this apartment, and the people in it.
xoxo J
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Is Two Really Better than One?
Living with seven housewives means that there is no personal space or privacy no matter how hard you try. Even going to the bathroom, where you think, hey, maybe I'll finally have some alone time gets ruined when someone barges in. Besides no privacy, this also means that some people still have to share a room. Now I am the biggest advocate of personal space and being alone when needed and somehow I got landed with the double room. Did I say double, I really meant triple, with Kylie's boyfriend basically lives with us as well. Having an immediate roommate has some serious perks, and some serious downfalls. Most of these things can be interpreted differently from person to person, so I will refrain from saying which I am for and which I am against.
1. You always no matter what, have someone to talk to.
2. You come home to surprises like your laundry being done, or chocolate on your desk.
3. You come home to surprises like your roommate's boyfriend.
4. You have to share a room.
5. Try to escape seven other roommates in your own room, jokes.
6. Your roommates boyfriend snores.
7. You have to now share a room with not only your roommate, but her boyfriend too.
8. You have double the amount clothes.
9. Can't sleep? Wanna talk? Watch a movie? Depends who you want to do all these things with. Your roommate, or someone else...
10. You like to sleep in late, but your roommate is an early riser.
11. Your roommate has no idea how to be quiet and you had no idea putting in contacts could be so loud.
12. Your roommate smells. Bad or good. You decide where I'm going with this one.
13. They flood the bathroom, then refuse to clean it up themselves.
14. They always let you borrow whatever you want, even if you ask or not.
15. Your roommate has an obsession with cats just as much as you do, so your room is covered in cat posters.
16. Your roommate has huge feet, like you, so now you finally have people to share your clown shoes with.
17. You live in such close quarters you are basically touching at all times.
18. Sometimes they are slobs and other times they are neat as can be.
19. You are never alone.
20. You make a new best friend, because its impossible to live with just anyone.
xoxo J
P.S.
Date 4:
Ashley invited Emanuel over after his football game to "celebrate". They immediately ran into Ashley's room and that was the last we saw of them all night. We're one step closer to a real relationship people!
1. You always no matter what, have someone to talk to.
2. You come home to surprises like your laundry being done, or chocolate on your desk.
3. You come home to surprises like your roommate's boyfriend.
4. You have to share a room.
5. Try to escape seven other roommates in your own room, jokes.
6. Your roommates boyfriend snores.
7. You have to now share a room with not only your roommate, but her boyfriend too.
8. You have double the amount clothes.
9. Can't sleep? Wanna talk? Watch a movie? Depends who you want to do all these things with. Your roommate, or someone else...
10. You like to sleep in late, but your roommate is an early riser.
11. Your roommate has no idea how to be quiet and you had no idea putting in contacts could be so loud.
12. Your roommate smells. Bad or good. You decide where I'm going with this one.
13. They flood the bathroom, then refuse to clean it up themselves.
14. They always let you borrow whatever you want, even if you ask or not.
15. Your roommate has an obsession with cats just as much as you do, so your room is covered in cat posters.
16. Your roommate has huge feet, like you, so now you finally have people to share your clown shoes with.
17. You live in such close quarters you are basically touching at all times.
18. Sometimes they are slobs and other times they are neat as can be.
19. You are never alone.
20. You make a new best friend, because its impossible to live with just anyone.
P.S.
Date 4:
Ashley invited Emanuel over after his football game to "celebrate". They immediately ran into Ashley's room and that was the last we saw of them all night. We're one step closer to a real relationship people!
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Secrets Secrets are no Fun, Unless They're Shared With Everyone
The housewives have recently been investigating a blooming love story of another fellow housewife, Ashley. Ashley will deny until she dies about her secret love affair with Emanuel, but we will always know what's real. Emanuel is your classic jock. He lives for the sport he plays and is incredibly good at it.
Date 1:
Emanuel comes to hangout with Ashley, innocent, right? Maybe. Everyone had gone to bed and he was still there but no one could care less. It wasn't until the next morning that things got interesting. Chloe and Marta got up early to go to breakfast and Ashley normally joins them. Going to see if she was awake they discovered that the door was locked, and our toilet seat was up.... Joking around on the way to breakfast Marta and Chloe said what if Emanuel slept over and thats why the door was locked. Confronting her later we all asked as a joke if Emanuel had really spent the night. Ashely responds with "Yeah, so?" WHAT. Wait. What. So you are trying to tell all of us that Emanuel spent the night in your twin bed, when he lives in the same apartment complex? That makes no sense Ashley, we're on to you.
Date 2:
Emanuel comes over to watch The Challenge, a tv show that we all watch as an apartment. After it was over, we all went to our respective rooms to go to sleep, except, for well, Ashley. Before Helga goes to sleep, she dims the lights in the living room, in order to set the mood for the two lovebirds. Hours later, I walk out to go get a glass of water, and guess who is still on my couch? That's right, Emanuel. Only now there was a candle lit on the end table, the lights and tv completely off, and they were cuddling under a blanket on the couch, giggling like schoolgirls. Sketch.
Date 3:
We all go out as a team to celebrate a teammates twenty-first birthday. Skip forward to the interesting part. So our plans did not go as we hoped they would and we ended up back in our apartment before midnight. Chloe, Helga, and I were planning to confront Ashley about Emanuel. When we finally got her alone, and were ready to attack, there was a knock at the door. Assuming it was Marta or Jada being lazy you can imagine our surprise when we saw Emanuel standing there instead. Three jaw drops. Not just one, three! Not knowing what else to do, we all run into Helga's room to devise a plan. By two a.m. we finally leave and there is no one to be found in the living room.... interesting. We press our ears up to Ashely's door and hear not one, but two voices. At least at this point we knew they weren't playing tonsil tennis in there. And once again we all wake up to find that Emanuel had spent the night and snuck out at eight so he couldn't be seen.
Now we are not the only ones who think there is a love affair going on. Emanuel's roommate asked us if we knew of anything going on because he sees the same sketchy things happening. Both Emanuel and Ashley claim they are "just friends" but are you really? We don't think so....
Now let me get your opinion.
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Don't worry I will let you all know when they become Facebook official.
xoxo Julez
Date 1:
Emanuel comes to hangout with Ashley, innocent, right? Maybe. Everyone had gone to bed and he was still there but no one could care less. It wasn't until the next morning that things got interesting. Chloe and Marta got up early to go to breakfast and Ashley normally joins them. Going to see if she was awake they discovered that the door was locked, and our toilet seat was up.... Joking around on the way to breakfast Marta and Chloe said what if Emanuel slept over and thats why the door was locked. Confronting her later we all asked as a joke if Emanuel had really spent the night. Ashely responds with "Yeah, so?" WHAT. Wait. What. So you are trying to tell all of us that Emanuel spent the night in your twin bed, when he lives in the same apartment complex? That makes no sense Ashley, we're on to you.
Date 2:
Emanuel comes over to watch The Challenge, a tv show that we all watch as an apartment. After it was over, we all went to our respective rooms to go to sleep, except, for well, Ashley. Before Helga goes to sleep, she dims the lights in the living room, in order to set the mood for the two lovebirds. Hours later, I walk out to go get a glass of water, and guess who is still on my couch? That's right, Emanuel. Only now there was a candle lit on the end table, the lights and tv completely off, and they were cuddling under a blanket on the couch, giggling like schoolgirls. Sketch.
Date 3:
We all go out as a team to celebrate a teammates twenty-first birthday. Skip forward to the interesting part. So our plans did not go as we hoped they would and we ended up back in our apartment before midnight. Chloe, Helga, and I were planning to confront Ashley about Emanuel. When we finally got her alone, and were ready to attack, there was a knock at the door. Assuming it was Marta or Jada being lazy you can imagine our surprise when we saw Emanuel standing there instead. Three jaw drops. Not just one, three! Not knowing what else to do, we all run into Helga's room to devise a plan. By two a.m. we finally leave and there is no one to be found in the living room.... interesting. We press our ears up to Ashely's door and hear not one, but two voices. At least at this point we knew they weren't playing tonsil tennis in there. And once again we all wake up to find that Emanuel had spent the night and snuck out at eight so he couldn't be seen.
Now we are not the only ones who think there is a love affair going on. Emanuel's roommate asked us if we knew of anything going on because he sees the same sketchy things happening. Both Emanuel and Ashley claim they are "just friends" but are you really? We don't think so....
Now let me get your opinion.
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Don't worry I will let you all know when they become Facebook official.
xoxo Julez
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