Find a Friend

First, I want to take a moment of silence for the closing of China Wine.  No one knows the real reason why it closed and if it ever will re-open but thank god we got one last run at it because who knows if we will ever get another classic China Wine experience.

Now to the important stuff.  The beginning of this story dates back to August.  In August we all moved into this hell hole of an apartment and within two days the landlord lost the master keys.  Speed up to this week.  The locks to the gates had been changed when the landlord lost the keys, but for some reason no one cared enough to change our front door locks.  Thanks for caring if we get robbed Fordham.  So this week, almost five months later, they decided it was unsafe for our locks not to of been changed.  We all went to go get our new keys as the lock had been changed on Wednesday.  Our keys worked fine until Friday when we got our deadbolt fixed.  Around noon we called to get the bolt fixed and until about nine at night our keys worked just fine.

We all went our separate ways for the night and expected our keys to work when we got home that night.  Chloe was the first one home and tried her keys.  The door wouldn't budge.  Helga made her way home minutes after and her keys wouldn't open the door either.  The security guard's keys couldn't unlock the door either so they decided to call Fordham security.  Security kept saying that they would come and help us but two hours past and there was no sign of security.  Chloe called Marta and I asking for our keys and still no ones keys would open the door.

By about midnight we were all sitting in the hallway waiting to gain entrance into our own apartment.  We called Fordham security one last time and they told us to "go find a friend and stay there because we can't open your door tonight".  You're kidding right?  Fordham security prevents us from having sleepovers when we want to, but when they want us to its all okay and acceptable.  Cool.  So now we are all stuck outside our apartment and have to find somewhere to stay.

We called one of our friends that lives off campus and they let as all shack up with them for the night.  Yeah, all seven housewives.  They did not know what they had just agreed to.  They all had to give us something to sleep in, somewhere to sleep, and half of us wanted something to eat.  This all felt like the most annoying and horrible thing at the time, but when we got to our friends' apartment it turned into the most fun night I have had all semester.  Having a "sleepover" with this many people is bound to be very entertaining and it was.  We all crawled into a small twin bed and talked nonsense for hours.  In the end, thanks Fordham security for being assholes and hanging us out to dry, I appreciate it.      

The Housewives try China Wine

This day started out like any other.  Each of us went our separate ways for classes only to meet up for lift and practice at four.  We all had the same excitement running through our veins, because tonight after practice, we were all venturing to China Wine.  Expecting this to also be our normal routine, our day was turned upside down by Ted, our lifting coach.  At first, it seemed like a blessing from God.  Ted wrote on the screen that there would be "no lift today!".  Ecstatic we all jumped around singing our China Wine song, becoming even more excited than before.  Second later, our lives went crashing down when Ted clicks to the next slide and we all dreadfully read "STADIUMS….. LOTS".  Typically, we would do about fifteen to twenty stadiums with Ted, but today….. today he expected us to do forty.  WHAT. FORTY.  You have got to be kidding Ted.  Our day wasn't ruined quite yet though.  We all lined up on the stadiums to begin and all we kept singing was "China Wine, China Wine, anything can happen on China Wine night".  Sounds stupid, I know, but it's what got us though these forty dreadful stadiums.  As we would get to the top you could hear someone mutter China Wine under their breath.  It was a long forty minutes, but that thought kept all us housewives going.  

After, not being able to walk anywhere because our legs were made of jelly, we somehow ended up on the soccer field, practice.  As if these three hours could not be horrible enough we had to do sprints at the end of practice.  All almost on our death beds, we got the strength to shower and get ready to go to our beloved restaurant China WIne.  Now for those of you who don't know, China Wine is a Chinese restaurant that serves the whole table unlimited amounts of wine.  Sounds like the time of your life right?  And oh yeah, the foods not bad itself either.  The whole meal ends up being about ten dollars or less per person so this is obviously our favorite place to go to dinner. 

Jada's sprained ankle.

Now in our song we state, "anything can happen on China Wine night" and this is the most true statement ever.  The ride to this restaurant is always horrible, and Chloe gets hangry (hungry and angry) and no one wants to get in the way of that.  Its long, slow, and we have to take the crowded subway down there.  But the ride home is by far the best part of the night.  The last time we all went to China Wine we ate dinner, blah blah blah, but then the night started going when we left the restaurant.  First, we walked one block to Urban Outfitters, and let me tell you my mom was not happy with my big spending that night and Jada may of may not of accidentally taken a pair of sunglasses with her on her way out.  Sounds sketchy I know, but she really didn't mean to do it.  She was trying them on, forgot they were on her face, and walked right out.  Somehow, none of us had even realized it either until we were on the subway on the way home.  At that point, what are you going to do but keep them.  As we were transferring from the 4 to the D train at Yankee Stadium we went for a real ride.  There is a huge escalator at this station and you put seven girls too drunk off wine on it, you wait and see what happens.  Somehow one of us in the back tripped and fell and took everyone on the escalator with her.  Thats right, we took out an entire escalator in one fall and we all tumbled down the moving stairway.  Any normal person would probably be writhing in pain from what just happened, but not us.  We already couldn't feel our lower body because of the amount of fitness we did earlier that day, and well you know what took care of the upper body.  We all just laughed this whole event off and acted like it was a completely normal thing to of happened.  Most likely didn't say sorry to the people we just bulldozed and went on our merry way to catch the subway.

In the morning, half of us could not even remember that this had even happened, until we looked at our battle wounds.  Kylie had a fat lip, Jada had a (minor) sprained ankle, and I had a huge scratch across my whole back.  China Wine is a very serious night that you have to both mentally prepare for before and after.  Either way no dinner can ever compare to what this one promises.  We obviously cannot go there often because of the aftermath, but when we do, its promised to be an unforgettable (or forgettable) night.  

xoxo J

Welcome to Campbell 308

Now that we’ve all met, read about, and virtually fallen in love with the housewives of Terranova through Ally’s blog, let’s step back onto campus and meet the lovely ladies of Campbell….
Let’s start at the far corner of the five-bedroom apartment with the biggest room in the place – here we have Kathryn, the girl who’s swamped with classes, practices, and her significant other. We don’t see her very often but when we do, Kathryn can usually be found curled up on the couch enjoying a rerun of Duck Dynasty and offering to comfort and cuddle with anyone and everyone. Next room down is Mikayla, the total neat freak who will kill you if you walk into her room with shoes on – yes she installed a rug and yes she will hit you if you get the sole of your shoe anywhere near it. Mikayla is also always making sure the place stays clean and usually frowns upon the empty cereal boxes left on the kitchen table. The third room in the apartment is the ultra quiet, totally in love, nicest girl in the world Taylor. We don’t always know when she’s even in the apartment – the girl is that quiet! Taylor and her boyfriend have been in her room for close to four hours without the rest of us even having a clue! How they pull this off we aren’t sure but hey more power to them. The fourth room in the apartment is home to Mandie – the stereotypical messy, somewhat smelly, disorganized roommate. Mandie’s room truly looks as if a bomb went off in it and could possibly require an exterminator by the end of the semester let alone the entire year. Mandie can usually be found on Pinterest browsing ideas for Christmas gifts and fitness motivation posts. Then you come to my room – the beautiful, neat, put together palace that it is... kidding, completely kidding. It’s a mess of practice clothes, a way too bright tapestry, and lots of leftover glitter from Halloween. I guess you could say I’m the roommate who constantly blares music and can be found napping whenever we have a spare hour from practice or classes.
So when you take the five of us who are nothing alike and throw us into an apartment consisting of one single hallway with two bathrooms on the ends and a kitchen slash living area in the middle, there are sure to be plenty of absurd stories coming on a nightly basis. Here’s one of the quality events that has occurred in Campbell 308 this semester…
It was a quiet, peaceful Monday morning around 10 am. We have Monday’s off from practice so naturally it means naptime for me. I had just gotten back into bed after my dreaded 830 class, when out of nowhere there was a screech from the kitchen. Confused as ever, I got out of bed and stuck my head out of the door to see Kathryn freaking out, squealing by the microwave, and yelling that the place was on fire. Hearing fire, I ran over only to find that the microwave wasn’t on fire – but it was spitting out sparks at a pretty rapid pace. One would think that Kathryn’s first move would have been to turn the microwave off when she saw the sparks right? Yeah no she let it keep going and create more sparks. Thinking with my brain (for like, the first time ever) I turned off the microwave and just like magic the sparks stopped. Kathryn quickly grabbed the plate with her breakfast sausage out of the microwave only to realize that the plate was burning hot and the links were legitimately smoking… Needless to say, the sausage was thrown out and maintenance was called to fix our sparking microwave.
So there you have it everyone, just a quick look into the zoo like apartment that is Campbell 308.
xoxo Rachel

The Housewives Take Halloween (TBT)

Halloween was a big weekend for the housewives this year.  First, the scavenger hunt, then the weekend brought even more exciting events.  We all got out creative juices flowing and came up with some pretty eccentric costumes.  Chloe and Ashley dressed as blow up ostriches, yes an ostrich, Kylie was a ghetto pug, Marta was a painter, Helga was a firefighter, and completely out of character was Jada as a fairy princess.  Lastly, I dressed in Spanish apparel.  I have an authentic (straight from Mexico) poncho, and Helga's mom had sent the apartment a box of huge mustaches for no reason.  For some reason, I also own a sombrero.  And for the finishing touches, I had my bottle of tequila (my favorite) and a burrito, because anyone who knows anything about me is that I can live off of burritos.  Having to purchase nothing, I decided to throw all of this together to make the perfect costume.  This night we had over all of our friends, and everyone there was loving our costumes.  Together we looked like a mess, but individually, we all rocked it.  It wasn't until someone showed up who was not too into my costume as I was.  She was a friend of a friend of ours and none of us knew who she was.  This girl took my outfit as me trying to be offensive, but I can guarantee to everyone that was the last thing I would ever do.  At heart, I was meant to live in a Spanish- ethnicity location because I love everything about it; most importantly, the food.  Now, this girl took everything the wrong way and expected her friend to say something to me about my outfit and make me change.  Our friend wanted nothing to do with it because she knew that I was harmless.  Getting so fed up with me and her friend, the girl that we didn't even know disappeared from our apartment.  So naturally, no one even noticed.  She started running around the Bronx and wouldn't answer her phone calls from anyone.  Frantically searching for her no one knew exactly what to do, because no one could get ahold of her.  It wasn't until six am, that we got a phone call from the Harlem Police Department, that we figured out what happened to this girl.  Apparently she had gotten so emotional and so worked up that she went back to her house in Harlem.  And on her way, she had gotten stopped by to police.  At six in the morning we had to go help this girl that we had never met in our lives before... all the way in Harlem.  I'm sure you can all figure out the rest of our morning, it was horrendous.  If you ever asked me if I thought something like this would ever happen on our Halloween, I would have laughed in your face.  To say the least, it was a very eventful Halloween and coming from us, I'm not surprised that it was.

PS. Emanuel met a new secret girl last weekend and has been bringing her around Ashley.  Ashley's claws are about to come out and we're all just waiting for the big day.  Better watch out, bitch.

xoxo J

HACKED!

Being another member of the apartment, I feel like it is appropriate to give my input on some of the many activities that go on in Terranova. For starters, my name is Chloe, and I love living in an apartment with seven different housewives. Everyone is entertaining and unique in her own way. There is never any down time because everyone is always entertaining. One of my favorite stories to tell is about the time we went to the library (yeah that’s right, I said the LIBRARY).

It was a Thursday night and most of us had a lot of work to do because it was midterms week.  Considering we get nothing accomplished in our apartment, we decided to all take a trip to the library. You would think with all of our brains put together that we would realize that the apartment isn’t our distraction and that we are each others distractions. However, we didn’t think much of it when we decided to go to the library. After everyone finally got their stuff together, we settled down in a study room. We got a huge conference room so that we can all fit our stuff at one table. It took us about thirty minutes to stop talking about everything and finally take our books out. It was at this moment when the night took a turn. Helga went looking through her backpack for her advertising textbook when she realized she took the wrong backpack. What was inside her backpack instead…..a half-filled handle of dragon-berry Baccardi. 

Most of you are probably wondering why there is a handle in Helga’s bag, but this is actually quite normal for her. She is the designated roommate to carry the bottle into and out of the apartment on nights out. Normally, we have games on Friday, so going out on a Thursday is never an option. However, the looks of that rum bottle in Helga’s bag was very tempting. Of course it was Juliana who came up with the brilliant idea to drink some of this Baccardi in the library, while we were studying. We went to the vending machines, got a variety of sodas, and poured some of the rum into the sodas. 

Books, Bacardi, and the Library

We started off just casually sipping on our mixed drinks in the conference room, all staring at our textbooks. We needed to get work done, we couldn’t get distracted anymore. If I remember correctly, Jada had a midterm the next day! But our “studying” didn’t last long. Honestly, I don’t know how we didn’t get kicked out of the library, we were so loud! We started playing music on our laptops and dancing in the conference room. A few of us may or may not have danced on top of the conference room table. To this day I don’t know how no one next to our room complained. After spending about two hours just hanging out in the library, we decided to move on with the night and go to our friends' apartment right next to the library. 

Our friends had practice the next morning, so they were just hanging out in their apartment playing video games. We all come barging into their apartment and ask them to come hangout at our apartment. They didn’t budge because they knew they had 8 am practice. None of us had the desire to actually go out because we were all in sweats and no one wanted to get ready. So, we decided to make ourselves at home at stay at their apartment. This is when we decided to take over the boys’s video games and play Mario Kart. We all took tuns and played for like 2 hours until we all got too tired. Finally, we made our way back to Terranova and fell asleep. Practice the next afternoon was definitely not fun and we were all struggling. However, even though we didn’t accomplish much that night, it ended up being super fun. Who knew someone could enjoy the library so much!

xoxo Chloe

1000 Make a Fordham Security Alert

Get plastic wrapped to a
tree with a random person. (3)

Every year my friends and I have a traditional Halloween scavenger hunt.  They are like your classic fifth grade sleepover scavenger hunt, going door to door asking for certain trinkets, except this one is kind of "R" rated, and isn't anything like that.  Together, we all make a list of the tasks  we want to complete, giving each action a 1,3, or 5 point ranking.  The more difficult, or less likely someone is to do it, the more points they are, obviously. We also decide on a time limit (three hours) and a meeting spot at the end.  Every minute a team is late, is a deduction of that many points.  The most important rule of this scavenger hunt, is everything MUST be documented on video.  If there is no proof, it didn't happen.  This is a great team/ housewife bonding activity because we have to work together as a team for one, and some people have to step up and take one for the team.  This is the list and ranking system that we used for this years scavenger hunt.

1 Ride the ram
1 Stadium drinking
3 Have someone kiss a random person's butt
5 Eat someones food off their plate at a restaurant (stranger)
1 Pretend to be gas attendants
3 Pyramid with Bronx locals
3 Handcuffed to a police man

Dump a cup of orange soda on someones head.  (5)

1 Ask a Bronx local to marry you
3 Go on a delivery run with Sam for University
1 Indian run through the Bronx
3 Follow the leader with 5 locals
5 Naked stadium
1 Get someone to buy you a shot at Howl
1 Get someone to buy you a shot at Mugz's
3 Get someone to buy you a shot at Tinkers
5 Undie-run around Eddies
5 Fountain swim
1 Scare a NARP
3 Body shot off a ginger
3 3v3 (3 locals included) pickup game in the cage

Pose in the tri-bar intersection wearing
a speedo. (5)

3 Share a smooch on the steps of Keating with a random
1 Cinnamon challenge
1 Saltine challenge
3 Moon a random person
3 Hump a stranger
5 Smear an ice cream cone on your face
5 Dump a cup of orange soda on someone's head
5 Whipped cream bikini
5 Convince a random to strip a take a picture of them
1 Wear a security guard's hat
3 Steal someone's Halloween candy
5 Pose in the intersection of tri-bar wearing a speedo
3 Get your hair corn rowed
3 Dye your hair
3 Order food though the drive though without a car
5 Lick chocolate syrup off a random person's neck
5 Work behind the counter of 7/11 or Dunkin/Beer City
3 Get plastic wrapped to a tree with a random person
5 Drink someone's spit
5 Convince a random to switch clothes with you
5 Have a rubik's cube party
1000 Make a Fordham security alert

Share a smooch  on the steps of Keating with a rando. (3)

Hump a stranger. (3)

Now, obviously we did not have enough time to finish everything on the list, but you would be surprised with how many we did accomplish. You would also be surprised in some of the ones each of us did.  For example, Marta, the shyest, quietest housewife of us all, participated in the undie-run across Eddies.  When we were deciding who would do this task, Marta started to strip and run before anyone could say otherwise.  In the end, we never really know who wins and who loses (we won), because we have too much fun just completing the list and watching the videos after.  If anyone is ever looking to do a great scavenger hunt, this is the one you have to do.  Wreak havoc around campus, not caring who sees you, or who stops you, just be careful and no, we have never made it onto a security alert.
xoxo J

PS. Has Sam moved on from Ashley? Find out next week.

Episode of the Missing Shirt

RIP Jada's favorite shirt. You will be missed.

Now, no one knows exactly how this story ends, but maybe you can help us figure it out.  About a month ago Jada, Chloe, and I were all hanging out in the living room.  We all had had a few glasses of wine and Jada was having one of her classic hot flashes (which she claims to of gotten since she was in second grade, please).  During this time, she got hot enough that she found it necessary to take her shirt off to cool down.  Chloe, being annoying, decided to take Jada's shirt and hide it under her shirt.  Getting distracted, it didn't seem to bother Jada that she didn't have a shirt on.  Chloe, still with Jada's shirt under hers, went to the bathroom and this is where the whole story gets messy.  Chloe didn't bother turning around when she flushed the toilet and then realized what had been under her shirt.  The toilet had already flushed by the time she knew what to do.  Bolting out of the bathroom, Chloe asked me if I had taken the shirt from her.  Confused, I said no and we started to frantically search around the 10 foot apartment.  Moving the two things in the living room, the couch and the tv, the shirt seemed to of disappeared into thin air.  It wasn't on Jada's back, or anywhere in the room.  We have no idea what could of possibly happened to this shirt, because we all know deep down that it is impossible for a shirt to be flushed down the toilet (even though this toilet has an industrial flush).  However, to us, this seemed like the only logical option.  I assumed the shirt would turn up when I moved out, but it still didn't.  To this day we have no idea what happened to Jada's shirt and we never will.  Let me know what you all think happened to her shirt, because we just can't figure it out.

xoxo J